The Process of Change
The process of change.
February 4th marks my 33rd sobriety anniversary, so I’ve been thinking about the concept and process of change in our lives. When I stopped drinking, a relationship that simultaneously functioned as a lifeline and a nuclear bomb in my life; I began the process of one of the most monumental changes in my life. That decision to change and the process of implementing that change has shaped the rest of my life, arguably more than any other single decision or change has, since then. Sobriety has transformed my relationship with myself and my relationships with others, as well as my world view, my aspirations, my values and my actions.
And WOW, so often, learning how to live sober felt overwhelming, uncertain, confusing, sad and yet other times the process felt exhilarating, relieving, hope filled and adventurous. Which I’ve come to understand through my work and my life is the true gift change can sometimes offer us. It can invite us into the unknown to fuel hope and possibility, to learn new ways of understanding ourselves and our lives and to unlearn what isn’t helpful to us or isn’t in alignment with our values and beliefs (both of which evolve across our lives).
If change can do all this wonderful stuff for us, why do we resist it so much? And is there anything we can practice to reduce the resistance to change so we can learn to partner with it?
The reasons we resist change are many and varied, and definitely a topic to be covered in future blogs. For this blog, to understand the process of change, it's useful enough to accept the notion that we tend to resist change. And yes, there are plenty of tools we can use to reduce the resistance to change in our lives. Below are 5 tools for you to use and get you started:
For additional tools you can use to reduce the resistance to change check out our Mindfulness 101 Online Course.
Notice when the resistance shows up, with curiosity.
Often, resistance shows up as limited or fear based thinking, in the present, future based or both.
Validate whatever you are feeling with statements like, “it makes sense I’m confused, change can be disruptive”. Or “It’s ok to not have all the answers, I can just do what's in front of me right now”.
Find support beams.
This consists of people who CAN BE emotionally supportive and people who demonstrate they can give you support. If you don’t have those relationships in your life right now, that’s ok too. I’ve been there. That’s when books, podcasts, videos, creativity, nature and spiritual practices can function as support beams.
Use beginner's mind.
Beginner’s mind is one of the most powerful mindfulness attitudes you can cultivate. By allowing yourself to be in a present moment without rushing to “know what’s going to happen”, you open up to what Dr. Dan Siegal calls the Plane of Possibility, a perspective that allows new insights, new outcomes and innovative problem solving.
Offer yourself compassion.
Especially when you’re in the messy middle of the change process. Insta snaps are just that, they aren’t reflective of the awkward, clumsy experience of change.
Are you looking for additional tools to reduce the resistance to change in your life?
Mindfulness 101 Online Course equips you with additional mindfulness based tools to help you reduce your resistance to change.
You can start using these mindfulness based tools today to empower you as you embrace the change in your life. Get the Mindfulness 101 Online Course below:
