Peace Isn't What You Think It Is
Peace isn’t what you think it is.
We’ve been taught, culturally, that peace arrives at some future destination: financial security, conflict-free relationships, and work that feels deeply meaningful one hundred percent of the time. When we finally achieve the right external conditions, then—then—our internal world will settle. We’ll feel content. Safe. At ease.
That idea is everywhere.
Across the internet, we’re told to “protect our peace” by cutting off anything—or anyone—that causes discomfort. I’m protecting my peace, bye. Taken to an extreme, this isn’t the path to peace at all. It’s a path toward increased anxiety, isolation, and disconnection.
So what is peace? And how do we actually cultivate it?
Over the past few months, a group of Buddhist monks quietly showed us the answer.
I was deeply grateful to witness the monks walking for peace as they passed through Fredericksburg. As they approached, something shifted. The air felt different. The energy softened. I could immediately access a still center within myself—everything else faded into the background. I felt grounded, solid, contained.
That moment transported me back to a transformative period in my early twenties, when I first learned what peace truly is—and how to find it.
For two years, every Friday evening, I sat in meditation with the Missionaries of Charity, the contemplative order founded by Saint Teresa of Calcutta. Their vocation was prayer and presence, and they welcomed me into their weekly meditation practice.
I didn’t earn that invitation through achievement or spiritual merit. I was invited because I was suffering deeply, and a beloved mentor brought me there. Those two years changed my life.
Each evening followed the same simple ritual: an opening prayer, an hour or more of silent meditation, and a closing prayer. Before that, I had never meditated. I didn’t know what to expect—and it was intense.
I squirmed. My thoughts raced. My body was uncomfortable. My emotions were raw. Some nights I wanted to bolt for the door. And yet, the women—like the monks—already had a relationship with peace. They sensed my struggle. Sometimes they offered a gentle smile, a whispered word, or simply shifted their breathing in a way that reminded me I could stay. That I could move through whatever discomfort or pain was pulling me away from myself.
For a long time, the only relief I felt was when the closing prayer began—because it meant it was almost over.
Still, I kept returning.
Even though meditation initially amplified my suffering, I also experienced something else: the same grounded, steady presence I felt witnessing the monks. That presence felt like respite. I felt seen—every flaw, every mistake—and held anyway, in full presence and loving kindness.
Over time, the practice softened. Meditation became less abrasive, less effortful. I felt more spacious, less attached to the thoughts and sensations passing through me. And then, quietly, I began to experience moments of true presence.
I met peace.
That peace didn’t stay confined to the convent walls. It followed me into my daily life. Situations that once triggered reactivity no longer did. Instead, I found pauses. Space. Glimpses of understanding—of my own suffering and the suffering of others.
What I learned was this: peace arises when we stay present with all of our experience. Not because we like what’s happening, or approve of it, but because we stop resisting it. We stop trying to offload discomfort through avoidance or reaction. Presence creates freedom.
I still experienced distraction. I still felt discomfort. But I could stay with it—and move through it.
The women did for me what the monks are offering us now: a living demonstration that peace is found in how we meet each moment.
The monks have walked through intense heat, pouring rain, snow, ice, and bitter wind. They’ve moved through welcoming communities and hostile ones, through support and ridicule. And still, they walk—grounded in each step, each breath, each moment, with compassion.
That is peace.
Not perfect weather.
Not perfect relationships.
Not constant comfort—physical or emotional.
Peace is presence with what is. And from that presence, you always have a choice: to move around your experience, or to move through it—with awareness, dignity, and loving kindness.
Year End Reflections - Emotional Agility Is The Move
So often we decide, “If I get it right, if I make the right choices, then I can lock in and ride out a good life”. If you sit back to reflect on that notion, there are so many issues with it…
First off, what does get it right mean?
Who determines what right choices are, and how are those right choices measured?
Is it determined by how comfortable we are?
Then there’s the issue with locking in and riding out; those states of being that don't really even exist. Life changes, we change, unexpected events happen, so there's no viable pathway to lock anything in.
And then finally, a good life, what the heck is that?
What your parents told you was a good life?
What the culture, your friends, the media told you was a good life?
And how is that even determined?
It’s understandable that we do this, our brains want certainty, thinking that translates to security. Who doesn’t want security? Security in your life is absolutely possible, but not by creating some external picture that you then try to control. Security develops on the inside, it’s a deep rootedness in knowing that however life twists and turns, whatever unexpected experiences or hoped for outcomes occur or don’t come to pass, you can trust in your ability to take care of yourself, your heart and to live into your values. That type of grounded relationship to your life and yourself is the cornerstone of security.
How do you begin to build that internal sense of security?
Two words, emotional agility.
This concept was developed by Dr. Susan David, a leading expert on emotional intelligence. She defines emotional agility as “The ability to navigate one’s emotions with flexibility, without ignoring them or letting them control you”. It is a practice of using your emotions as information to help guide you. When you develop skill in emotional agility you become able to adapt, to be curious, to be open to change; all skills that over time support you in living a life RICH and MEANINGFUL to YOU. You become less reactive, less rigid, less braced for the inevitable shoe to drop.
At year's end, I usually reflect on what I noticed, what I learned, what I unlearned, and how that matters to me and to the people around me both at work and at home. This year, I’ve witnessed myself make several decisions based on emotional agility both in my business and personal life. I moved offices and entered into a new type of business collaboration, I hired more clinicians, I began remodeling my outbuilding to move the practice to, I’ve expanded the services I offer to include retreats and held several of these groups at my home.
Each of these choices were connected to emotional agility. Most of them were never in “the plan”. I changed course because circumstances changed, and although several of these decisions were a bit scary, I am finding security inside myself, rather than trying to control the outcomes of these decisions. I’ve witnessed countless clients connect with deep meaning, deep joy and deep forgiveness through the practice of emotional agility. I’ve felt the freedom of the practice and I’ve watched others connect to freedom by letting go of what they were supposed to do and instead learned how to choose themselves through their values in whatever situation they found themselves in.
Emotional agility releases you from the nagging fear and anxiety centered in things needing to be a certain way, instead inviting you to explore what is happening, using curiosity to guide you through the situation. I don’t think we ever arrive at PERFECT emotional agility, nor do I think that’s the point. Developing this practice will, however, bring much more internal peace and security without resorting to avoidance, numbing, blame or control to gain what I like to call faux peace. It will bring excitement into your experience and it will reconnect you with mystery and possibility, all of which enriches your experience of this one beautiful life you are living and we are living alongside each other.
If you want to learn more about emotional agility, check out Dr. David’s book, titled unsurprisingly… Emotional Agility.
And if you are looking for a practical way to build a relationship with yourself and your life consider our month long Introduction to Journaling, an online experience that will support you in exploring several different approaches to journaling and guide you through exploring those approaches. We’ll also meet on zoom each week to process your experiences with the material. We start January 1, I sure hope to see you there.
Thank you for spending your valuable time reading these blogs I write and engaging with our social media, workshops and courses. I love my work and I hope it brings a little more clarity, support and hope to anyone who connects with it. I wish each of you a year that surprises you, delights you and opens you to the awareness that you are held in love exactly as you are.
Everyone Is Creative: Reclaiming the Joy of Playful Expression
At some point, many of us begin to believe a quiet but persistent myth: I’m just not a creative person.
Maybe it came from a childhood comment, a comparison to someone else, or the belief that creativity must look a certain way—paintings in a gallery, a novel on a shelf, a flawless performance. But the truth is, creativity is not a talent reserved for the few. It’s a relationship we each hold—with curiosity, with play, with the deeper parts of ourselves.
Creativity Is Playful Connection
At its heart, creativity is a form of play. It asks us to wonder, to explore, to follow a thread without knowing where it leads. It’s not about being “good” at something. It’s about staying open.
Psychiatrist and author Dan Siegel speaks about the “plane of possibility”—a spacious state of mind where we can imagine, discover, and expand beyond our habitual patterns. Creativity is one of the most direct portals to this place. When we draw, write, move, or make music without judgment or agenda, we step into that plane of openness. And from there, healing becomes possible.
No Outcome Required
One of the most powerful shifts we can make is redefining success.
Creativity doesn’t need to produce a result to be worthwhile. The act of creating is the value. Whether it’s doodling in a journal, dancing in your living room, or writing a messy poem no one else will read, creativity reconnects us with the process of doing rather than proving.
This is where many women rediscover a part of themselves that’s been waiting quietly in the wings—permission to play, to feel, to express without needing it to “go somewhere.”
The Benefits of Cultivating Creativity
Rebuilding a relationship with your creative self can be transformative. It's not just about fun (though fun is wonderful!). It also offers:
Stress relief – creative activities soothe the nervous system and offer a sense of rhythm and presence.
Emotional processing – art and movement can express what words cannot, giving form to feelings that feel too big or too complex.
Energy and vitality – engaging with your imagination can re-energize your body and mind.
Integration of self – creativity helps bridge inner parts that may feel disconnected or unseen.
Exploration – it becomes a sacred practice of curiosity, inviting you to meet new aspects of yourself.
How to Begin Reconnecting with Your Creativity
There’s no one right way. Start where there’s a spark—or even a flicker. Some simple ways to begin:
Movement – gentle stretching, free dance, or walking while letting your thoughts wander
Writing – try stream-of-consciousness journaling, a short story, or even writing a letter to your younger self
Music or performance – hum, sing, act out a scene, or revisit an instrument you once loved
Visual art – doodle in your journal, paint on canvas, play with color and shape with no plan in mind
Give yourself permission to be imperfect. To begin. To play.
Creativity isn’t something you have to earn. It’s something you already hold within.
It’s your birthright. A gentle power that helps you feel, imagine, and come home to yourself.
And it’s never too late to begin again.
2023 In Review Using GLAD
Arriving at the end of another year invites us to focus on introspection and self reflection.
Rhythms and cycles are woven into every aspect of our lives, from the automatic rhythm of our breath as we inhale and exhale, to the continuous cycles of the sun, the moon and the seasons. We spend our lives entwined in these patterns, many times not exploring the power of consciously partnering with them. (And yes, this might be a teaser of a project I’m working on).
Using the end of a calendar year to reflect on your experiences of yourself and your life, the patterns, structure, choices and results, is a powerful tool for partnering with the ending and beginning of a new yearly cycle. It can also be an overwhelming exercise to consider, with thoughts similar to, “How do I review a whole year? I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast this morning.” Finding a manageable and meaningful way to begin a self reflection process can be challenging.
2023 was a transformational year for me, and even though I have developed introspective and self reflective practices for decades, I was finding that reflecting on my year in a meaningful way felt TOUGH. I kept listing events and experiences, which was helpful in acknowledging the content of the year but it wasn’t supporting my goal to find meaning.
So I pulled out an OLD mindfulness tool; one I included in the first workshop I created years ago, Mindfulness 101. The exercise is called GLAD and is significantly beneficial for general mood management and specifically depressive tendencies. The exercise as originally intended suggests that you acknowledge;
One small experience you are GRATEFUL for that day
One small thing that you LEARNED that day
One small ACCOMPLISHMENT for that day
And one small DELIGHT you experienced that day.
It’s effective when practiced consistently because it broadens your perception of your experience and opens you to notice daily experiences that bring meaning and purpose to your life. I decided to adapt it as a way to reflect on my year. I stayed with the basic approach and allowed myself to be flexible about how I described each category. If I wanted to add it more for each or wanted to summarize a category by describing a theme, then I did that. Here’s a bit of what I came up with.
This year, what I am grateful for is the grounded awareness that I can trust myself to live within my values, even when it is painful to do so. That doesn't mean I make “right” decisions, rather it means that I can trust myself to both be responsible for the decisions I make and change course when my values indicate that I need to. The grounded awareness of that trust has liberated me to take more risks and to be more vulnerable, trusting myself to care for myself no matter what the outcome.
This year, I learned that the love we offer ourselves and others as well as the love that is offered to us, is what can make the difference between surviving unexpected challenges and losses and learning, growing and thriving through those same difficulties. Love as a force, filled in the gaps when I reached my capacity, it lightened my load when I could hold no more, it witnessed with kind compassion, my grief and it preserved my connection to hope.
This year I accomplished a business restructuring to align with my current needs and I was able to make real progress on a decades long whisper in my heart, what I’ve come to refer to as a heart seed, this seed was planted during 2023 and is currently growing. It has stretched me and unsettled me and excited me. As all heart centered pursuits tend to do.
This year I delighted in gathering my first crop of dahlia seeds from my own harvest. I delighted in a few spontaneous and fun trips that made my belly ache from laughing and my feet hurt from dancing. And I delighted in a few new relationships I cultivated this year that reawakened some dormant, neglected aspects of myself that I deeply love.
If you are looking to start a relationship or perhaps deepen your relationship with New Year’s reflection, using GLAD can support you in both broadening your perspective on your year while also helping you to find meaning in your experiences this year.
Looking ahead to what is beginning; in 2024 I’m looking forward to offering a 4 part talk series aligned with each season, the first, Harnessing the Power of Winter Stillness will be offered sometime in late January. Details about the event and how to sign up are on the way!
I’m also looking forward to so many additional creative projects both within the practice and in my personal life, and as always, I’m looking forward to walking alongside many of you as you rediscover your voice and reclaim the power of using it in support of all your selves, past, present and future.
I wish each of you a new year filled with deep authentic connection to yourself and others and real moments of joy as you continue discovering and rediscovering how beautiful you are in mind body and spirit.
Harvest Season
Let’s be real, it’s what we look forward to in our gardens and in our lives, especially if we have planted seeds with intention, care, support and weathered the storms and uncertainty of the germination and growing process.
When I think about harvest season metaphorically, I think about heart centered seeds. Heart seeds of dreams, values and hopes. Harvest season rewards us with evidence of those heart centered energy investments. It confirms our hopes and fuels our dreams.
We celebrate fruition.
Unless you are experiencing a disappointing harvest in your garden or life. One with depleted blooms, injured or diseased crops, crops that either never germinated or died earlier in their growth cycle. Those harvest seasons tempt us to avoid reflection or even connection in any sense with what contributed to a harvest we didn’t want or expect. Of course there are factors that are outside of our control, even if we shelter our gardens filled with the seeds of our heart from storms. Even if we provide extra supports to help them weather the storms, sometimes that’s not enough and the storms will wipe out a crop despite our best efforts to protect it, to help it survive, and give it a chance to thrive.
Those are heartbreaking cycles that also provide us with opportunities to let go; to practice nonattachment to outcomes and stay engaged with a heart centered process.
Disappointing harvests are also opportunities to reflect on how you may have contributed to an outcome you didn’t anticipate.
Reflecting on your decisions and behaviors with questions like; Did I plant with intention? Or was it more with distraction? Did I consistently attune to the needs of those heart seeds in the garden, learning, fertilizing, watering, and supporting? Or did I engage in a more haphazard way, when I felt like it, because, I was busy? Was I disengaged because I was growing something someone else wanted that I don’t even care that much about?
Reflecting on your personal contribution to the harvest you are reaping builds capacity for growth, it desensitizes you to paralyzing shame by reinforcing your humanness, your flawed nature and it builds self trust. Self reflection when paired with personal accountability can become rocket fuel to build consistency in heart centered endeavors. When you become more intentional not only about what you plant but why you are planting it you then are more motivated to support those seeds into a bountiful blooming season.
This month I’ve entered a second harvest season within a year. The first, was a heartbreaking harvest season, that required acceptance of storm damage the heart seeds in this garden couldn’t withstand and reflection on how my own decisions in the planting stages influenced the probability of the disappointing harvest. It was a reckoning in which I came to understand that the new knowledge I was implementing in crop support, fertilization, and expansion, wasn’t ever going to produce the results I hoped for with this heart centered garden, the soil it was planted in was not going to adapt and evolve.
So, I changed course and utilized that new knowledge in planting new seeds, while at the same time staying consistent in caring for the emerging blooming season of one of my oldest and most heart centered seed crop.
And this November I’m celebrating the incredible blooming cycle of this aspect of my garden. I’ve witnessed the results of authentic tenacity and the true belonging that accompanies that steadfast commitment to heart seeds planted decades ago, consistently cared for, even when the care was uninformed, even ignorant to important care factors that would support the seed growth cycle more comprehensively.
These seeds still thrived.
In the blooms, I saw the strength of the roots, the impact of the learning, the fertilizing and most awe inspiring, the unique expression of these flowers in the world. It frankly took my breath away…
To witness the expression of who these blooms are separate from me and yet inextricably linked to my intention and care is an experience that confirms my beliefs in the power of love. It strengthened my own roots as a person and my vision as an intentional gardener of dreams. I’m also beginning to witness some of the newer seeds germinating into exciting seedlings of potential.
Harvest season is of course both/and.
It’s a season to celebrate the bountiful harvest and to grieve the disappointing losses. Always learning and celebrating both for the wisdom and growth potential they invite us into relationship with. What is your current harvest season about? And how are you planting your heart seeds for the next harvest cycle? Take a look at your contributions to both, it matters and so do you.
Choose to Bloom
In the middle of a recent Reiki attunement, regular attunements are a vital aspect of my self care as a therapist, I heard the sentence “Choose to bloom.” so clearly in my mind. Although it’s typical for me to get clarity about various aspects of my life during these attunements, singular sentences that ground the entire session are a fairly new trend, in another recent attunement I heard, “Hold the line, and stand your ground”, but more on that in another blog.
I sunk down into the concept of the sentence, choose to bloom, and overlaid it onto experiences I've had as a flower grower, experiences I’ve witnessed as a therapist and experiences I’ve had and witnessed because I’m a human, living a life. The powerful truth in that simple sentence was deeply apparent across all of them.
As a flower grower, (and social worker) I understand the importance of soil. Soil is the foundation that nourishes the potential of the flower seed. If the soil is depleted or imbalanced, the seed will not absorb enough nutrients to germinate and grow into its potential, much like people. So I care for the soil I plant my flowers in. Once the seeds germinate and become seedlings, they need water, sunlight, extra nutrients and support during various stages of growth and development, again similar to people.
I take pride in the care and attention I provide my flowers across all of their growth cycles. But there comes a time in a flower’s development where fertilizing it, or attending to it in other ways, creates confusion in the flower’s energy and can lead to the flower not blooming, it may bud, but the bloom won’t mature and open. Many times, in fact most of the time, when growing flowers, this is where the magic is so loud and spectacular that it highlights the truth of that sentence, you have to choose to bloom. Overnight, in the secrecy of darkness, many flowers will open their blooms to greet you in the morning sunlight, others begin in the morning with a bud and by the end of a sunny day, have opened into a full beautiful bloom. On their own, they harnessed all the growth that gave them the energy and understanding, the support and timing to bloom. It truly feels like they do choose to bloom.
I think we are the same. At some point, we understand the soil of our lives, its issues, its beneficial aspects and at that point we can amend the soil, enrich it and rebalance it so we can grow, heal, nurture and support ourselves. That’s when we begin a blooming cycle. If we become too attached to healing, repairing, nurturing, we will confuse our energies and delay our ability to bloom into the full potential of what we have been growing in ourselves and in our lives. It doesn’t mean that there won’t be another season of growing and healing, rather it means, we also have to allow ourselves to bloom into the expression of the growth that has already occurred.
How do you recognize when it’s time?
Essentially, your gut knows, that deep inner wisdom and your connection to it, knows. You’ve done the repairs, you can see and document the work you’ve done because there is evidence EVERYWHERE, and you probably feel a little afraid or maybe doubtful to step into the fullness of that work, which is the bloom. It’s potential energy that is able to be expressed in a beautiful way in the physical world. Every part of you knows, the ingredients, the structures, the space is there, you just have to choose it.
That’s when you’re in your blooming cycle.
That’s when it's time.
If this resonates with you, I encourage you to choose to bloom. Trust that you’re ready. It’s time, you deserve to feel the full expression of all the work you’ve done and the world needs to see your beautiful bloom.
The Process of Change
The process of change.
February 4th marks my 33rd sobriety anniversary, so I’ve been thinking about the concept and process of change in our lives. When I stopped drinking, a relationship that simultaneously functioned as a lifeline and a nuclear bomb in my life; I began the process of one of the most monumental changes in my life. That decision to change and the process of implementing that change has shaped the rest of my life, arguably more than any other single decision or change has, since then. Sobriety has transformed my relationship with myself and my relationships with others, as well as my world view, my aspirations, my values and my actions.
And WOW, so often, learning how to live sober felt overwhelming, uncertain, confusing, sad and yet other times the process felt exhilarating, relieving, hope filled and adventurous. Which I’ve come to understand through my work and my life is the true gift change can sometimes offer us. It can invite us into the unknown to fuel hope and possibility, to learn new ways of understanding ourselves and our lives and to unlearn what isn’t helpful to us or isn’t in alignment with our values and beliefs (both of which evolve across our lives).
If change can do all this wonderful stuff for us, why do we resist it so much? And is there anything we can practice to reduce the resistance to change so we can learn to partner with it?
The reasons we resist change are many and varied, and definitely a topic to be covered in future blogs. For this blog, to understand the process of change, it's useful enough to accept the notion that we tend to resist change. And yes, there are plenty of tools we can use to reduce the resistance to change in our lives. Below are 5 tools for you to use and get you started:
For additional tools you can use to reduce the resistance to change check out our Mindfulness 101 Online Course.
Notice when the resistance shows up, with curiosity.
Often, resistance shows up as limited or fear based thinking, in the present, future based or both.
Validate whatever you are feeling with statements like, “it makes sense I’m confused, change can be disruptive”. Or “It’s ok to not have all the answers, I can just do what's in front of me right now”.
Find support beams.
This consists of people who CAN BE emotionally supportive and people who demonstrate they can give you support. If you don’t have those relationships in your life right now, that’s ok too. I’ve been there. That’s when books, podcasts, videos, creativity, nature and spiritual practices can function as support beams.
Use beginner's mind.
Beginner’s mind is one of the most powerful mindfulness attitudes you can cultivate. By allowing yourself to be in a present moment without rushing to “know what’s going to happen”, you open up to what Dr. Dan Siegal calls the Plane of Possibility, a perspective that allows new insights, new outcomes and innovative problem solving.
Offer yourself compassion.
Especially when you’re in the messy middle of the change process. Insta snaps are just that, they aren’t reflective of the awkward, clumsy experience of change.
Are you looking for additional tools to reduce the resistance to change in your life?
Mindfulness 101 Online Course equips you with additional mindfulness based tools to help you reduce your resistance to change.
You can start using these mindfulness based tools today to empower you as you embrace the change in your life. Get the Mindfulness 101 Online Course below:
Do you want to be more present in your daily life, be able to shake off the distractions that weigh you down? Unlearn anxious patterns that restrict your connection to yourself and others?
Mindfulness 101 Online Course is designed to empower you with mindfulness tools and practices to increase your presence in your daily life, to support more focus, and to successfully shake off distractions and anxious thoughts patterns that weigh you down.
Filled with video lessons, audio meditations, an eBook FULL of reflection prompts and weekly mindfulness practices. PLUS bonus info… You are able to complete this online course from the comfort of your own home, your favorite coffee shop, or even as you are traveling!
In this course, you’ll receive:
Over 90 minutes of video instruction from me
Over 80 minutes of guided meditations to deepen the learning in each module
4 shorter guided mindful meditation practices
Several mindfulness based practices
Reflection questions and weekly ideas to make mindfulness a daily part of your mental health toolkit
With this course, you are given an eBook that gives you access to all of the modules, videos, and audio meditations, enabling you to set your own schedule with this course and complete it at your pace.
Start living your life more Mindfully today with the Mindfulness 101 Online Course.
2021 Reflections: Learning How To Lean In & Unlearning The Resistance In Letting Go
This year I’ve struggled with how to authentically and accurately write a year end reflection; mainly because it wasn’t coming out in “the form I’m used to”, so I let go of what it “needed” to be and allowed it to be what it is. This year, I’m sharing some things I’ve learned and relearned, what I’m letting go of more readily and what I’m leaning into more often. Because noticing life in this way, doesn’t feel rigid and restrictive; instead, it feels open and more honest.
What have I learned and relearned?
That adapting to change with openness fuels creativity and lessens anxiety.
That I value the willingness to continually grow even more than I realized.
That for me, right now, acceptance is more useful than forgiveness. It is a process that liberates me from pain; and includes acknowledgement and accountability for the harm done.
That fear and shame create so much pain and disconnection.
That I love listening to podcasts.
That interdependence is the truth. Independence is an illusion. Conscious interdependence fosters deep belonging.
That chronic suppression of self is the loss I grieve over most in my life.
That kindness is active and courageous. And kindness is not niceness.
What am I letting go of more?
Perfectionism.
Overfunctioning.
Certainty.
Expectation.
Obligation.
Shame.
What am I leaning into?
Uncertainty.
Hope.
Creativity.
The magic of flowers.
Acceptance.
Yoga.
Reading.
Imagination.
Possibility.
Music.
To our client community, thank you from the very center of my heart for inviting me to walk alongside you, it is a sacred invitation that I honor.
To our social media community, thanks for taking your valuable time to look at our stories, watch our videos and engage with our posts. We work hard to bring valuable content because we value you and the importance of your energy investment on behalf of your mental health.
To the Fredericksburg community, we get to work in, thanks for taking such good care of us for another year. We sure do love being here.
Happy New Year everyone.
Mindful Movement
This week I wanted to take some time to talk with you all about one of the most important things in my life: mindful movement. In order to fully understand mindful movement it's important to first reflect on your own life and needs, and how you can first begin to incorporate movement from there. Many of us at some point in our lives have heard about the positive benefits of incorporating exercise or physical activity into your routine. These positive benefits include things such as improving your sleep, giving you more energy, maintaining a healthy weight, strengthening your muscles, and keeping your heart healthy. But beyond these physical benefits, regular activity can also have an immediate positive impact on your brain health in a multitude of ways.
Reduces Anxiety
Each time you engage your body in physical movement you are releasing several beneficial neurotransmitters into your brain including dopamine (increases feelings of pleasure), norepinephrine (increases blood flow and provides energy), serotonin (stabilizes mood and promotes feelings of wellbeing and happiness), and acetylcholine (plays an essential role in alertness, attention, learning, and memory). Together all of these chemicals have been proven to work together to decrease feelings of anxiety and depression.
Improves Focus and Concentration
Julia Basso and Wendy Suzuki conducted a recent study which showed that a single workout can have an immediate benefit of an improved ability to shift and focus attention as well as improving your reaction speed. They recommended the best exercises to create this effect are cardiovascular exercises that elevate your heart rate such as taking a long walk, running, swimming, cycling, or jumping rope.
Promotes Brain Cell Growth
One of the most significant benefits of exercise is the promotion of neurogenesis, or the birth of new brain cells. More specifically physical activity has been shown to catalyze the creation of new brain cells in your hippocampus, the part of your brain which works towards memory formation and storage. This is essential to improving cognitive function. Physical exercise has also been shown to improve the health and function of the synapses between neurons in your hippocampus, which allows your brain cells to communicate more effectively and efficiently.
Protects Your Brain Against Neurodegenerative Disease
In addition to aiding in the growth of brain cells within your hippocampus, regular exercise can also promote the growth of your prefrontal cortex. Your prefrontal cortex is the part of your brain which is implicated in a variety of complex behaviors, including planning, and greatly contributes to personality development. Both your prefrontal cortex and your hippocampus are the parts of your brain which are susceptible to neurodegenerative diseases such as dementia and Alzheimer’s. So, similarly to muscles in your body the bigger it becomes, the stronger it gets. Now by no means will exercise cure or prevent the onset of a neurodegenerative disease, but consistent physical activity has been shown to reduce or delay its onset. Think of it like an insurance policy for your brain!
All of these things are great reasons to start working towards incorporating physical activity into your daily life. However, exercise also creates a unique opportunity to practice mindfulness. For me exercise is a great outlet to release pent up stress or frustrations, but even more important for me is it creates an opportunity to feel connected with my own body. Each day that I go to the gym I focus on a specific group of muscles and while working out I pay particular attention to how those muscles are feeling. I may notice small pains in certain areas which gives me a sign that that spot may need more of a rest or focused stretching. Or maybe I notice certain muscles are not struggling with certain exercises as they did a couple of weeks prior, which provides me with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Ultimately, being mindful of the way my body is moving and feeling during exercise helps provide me with a sense of overall holistic peace.
If going to the gym and lifting weights isn’t your thing, Tai Chi, Yoga, and Qiong are great alternatives to help introduce mindful movement into your life. Tai Chi is a healing and meditative practice that combines martial art movement with Qi (energy circulation), breathing, and stretching techniques. This practice consists of a series of graceful movements with deep and slow diaphragmatic breathings performed while standing. Practicing Tai Chi has been shown to have both physical and psychosocial benefits for many different populations. Yoga, a mind-body exercise, involves a combination of muscular activity and an internally directed mindful focus on awareness of the self, the breath, and energy. This practice integrates an individual's physical, mental, and spiritual components to improve physical and mental health, particularly stress related illnesses. Yoga provides a unique opportunity for people to practice grounded mindfulness by fostering a deep connection with your breathing while also improving your vagal tone, an unconscious activity in your brain which regulates your calming and connecting response. Qigong exercise, similar to Tai Chi, consists of a series of breath practices with body movement and meditation to attain deep focus and relaxed state. Simply speaking, Qigong exercise is practiced/used to cultivate the balance and harmony of vital energy in the human body.
Another form of mindfulness that you can do during physical activity can be thought examination. When doing a long-form or repetitive exercise like walking, running, swimming, or riding a stationary bike, something where you can allow your physical awareness to take a bit of a back seat, pay close attention to the thoughts or feelings that arise during this. A mentor of mine in grad school spoke on how she would start each of her days with mindful movement journaling. At the start of each day, she would go for a brisk walk and allow her mind to wander towards whatever it was naturally drawn to. Then once she returned home, she would journal about those thoughts and emotions, which helped her start each day with a feeling of mental clarity.
Exercise can be a daunting thing to incorporate in your life’s schedule, especially if it is something that is new to you, so remember not to be too hard on yourself or create too much pressure. Additionally, it is important to mention that exercise can be potentially triggering for some folks, so make sure to check in any professional you may be seeing before making any lifestyle changes. You don’t have to adopt a professional athlete’s regimen to achieve the benefits from this blog. Any consistent movement that is an outlet for your energy and makes you feel good at the end of the day will only provide positive benefits for you!
Appreciation & Gratitude
As the practice’s theme this month is appreciation, I want to take this opportunity to dive deeper into the concept of appreciation, as well as how it intersects with gratitude. Appreciation involves the awareness, recognition, enjoyment, and full sensory understanding of the positive value of something or someone. This definition shows how important mindfulness is when practicing appreciation, because in order to have a full sensory understanding of why you appreciate the value of something, you need to be mindfully present. Appreciation is a skill set that is developed with practice.
Although gratitude and appreciation are often used synonymously, there are differences between the two terms. One of the most defining characteristics of appreciation is that it is a mindful action, felt in your body with sensory awareness. Appreciation is connected to sounds, smells, things we see that we find pleasurable, and the practice of appreciation connects us with this sensory data in our body. Gratitude is a perceptual habit built on the felt sense of appreciation, when practicing gratitude, you are connecting with the felt sense awareness of appreciation in your body and utilizing that to “think” about how to perceive your experience with a grateful lens.
When beginning to develop a conscious relationship with appreciation a great place to start is self-appreciation. If you find that it can be difficult to cultivate appreciation for others, part of that may be due to the need for cultivating self-appreciation. So often appreciation and gratitude are talked about in the context of feeling positive in regard to someone else, or something someone does for you, but those same principles can be applied to yourself. An exercise that can help begin the path of self-appreciation is when you find yourself with a moment to think at the end of the day, ask yourself, “What do I feel proud of today?” and “How do I experience the felt sense of that pride in my body? Is it warm? Tingly? Where is the warmth?”. Just like self-appreciation, appreciation of others is practiced similarly. Allow yourself some time to think of an event that day involving someone else like, a family member helping with the cooking that day, a friend buying you coffee, or even the bus arriving on time. These are all great calls to cultivate a sense of appreciation. Focus on the sensations of the appreciation, using sight, sound, smell, taste and touch as your guide. Appreciation of others can also be practiced by making it a priority to acknowledge when you feel appreciative of someone in the moment. It is important to remember that this action is a parallel to the personal appreciation exercises in that, highlighting specifics of why you are feeling that appreciation will help foster a deeper and more meaningful relationship with that person.
By regularly practicing appreciation you are allowing yourself to become more connected with what fuels gratitude. Because, once you have a felt sense of appreciation in your body, you can use that to consciously develop the mental habit of using a gratitude framework to pair appreciation with your perception of your experiences, both positive and challenging. Improved understanding of mindful appreciation also benefits your ability to stay connected in the present moment, even in discomfort. When you practice maintaining awareness of what you appreciate in your life you are also building a framework for your brain to stay in the moment and increasing your distress tolerance skills, which can also foster gratitude. Practicing appreciation and developing your understanding of gratitude not only yields benefits of positive feelings and increased optimism within yourself and others, but also has several health enhancing impacts on your mental health as well. Additional benefits related to practicing appreciation include reduced stress levels, increased life satisfaction, lowers the chance of experiencing burnout, improved sleep, lowers levels of cellular inflammation, improves resiliency, increased prosocial behaviors, strengthens relationships, and encourages the development of patience, humility, and wisdom. Ultimately, continuing to develop a conscious connection with appreciation will build a bridge to the practice of gratitude; which can measurably improve your relationship with yourself, your life and with other people.