What Does Support Look Like, Sound Like, Smell Like & Feel Like?
What does support look like, sound like, smell like and feel like?
This is a sensory based question I often ask my clients, because it moves them out of their head and into their body, into the felt sense of support. Typically, it takes them a minute or two, and even some additional guided inquiry by me to begin to open up to that part of knowing. It’s usually there, within them, they just haven’t yet acquainted themselves with it. Uncovering a felt sense of support is powerful because it can help you to recognize care, help and protection in your body before your mind catches up and creates a thought about your experience. The sensory data arrives first and when you que yourself to consciously connect with the sensory data you calibrate your guidance system in accessing support more attuned to your real time needs.
Here is a guided visualization exercise to assist you in developing a connection to your felt sense of support. All you need to begin is a quiet comfortable place where you can be undisturbed for 15 minutes and a little bit of willingness.
1. Find a comfortable seated or lying down position and begin to connect with your body by noticing your breath. Notice each inhalation and each exhalation. Notice the rhythm and process of how your breath moves and lives within you.
2. After a few moments of noticing, allow yourself to remember a time you felt support, support you offered yourself, or maybe support offered to you by someone else. The picture may even be an imagined experience of support, whatever arrives is enough and even just right to use for this exercise.
3. Now drop into your senses; what is the smell or smells in this experience of support? Is it related to food? A place? How does the support in this experience sound? Does it sound like music? A comforting voice? Sounds of nature? Really open to whatever those smells and sounds are and where you experience the sensations associated with those sounds and smells in your body. Next notice what you see? Notice the colors, textures and sizes of the scenery. What is touching you? Even what are you tasting? Follow the same process as above, not only noticing those aspects of sensory information but also noticing how you feel and where you feel that in your body.
4. Next allow yourself to use your breath to breathe in the felt sense of support, expand it as you deepen your inhalation and release any resistance to it with each exhalation. Spend at least a few minutes practicing this, until it feels less awkward and more natural to expand the sense of receiving support throughout your body.
5. Wrap up the visualization exercise by spending a moment in appreciation of the time and effort you just spent in embodying an experience of support. Affirm your intention to remain open to noticing the felt sense of support in your daily life.
Practicing simple visualization exercises like the one above, expands your ability to learn, how you respond to support, what support you may need in various situations and how to benefit more deeply from the felt sense of support.
Trusting the Momentum
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’re noticing energy building in a direction that you haven’t anticipated, haven’t planned for, or even in a way that may scare you?
If this sounds familiar, then you may also relate to the notion of just not being able to shake off the building of momentum; it’ll pop up in unexpected moments, maybe you’ll notice related topics and ideas in media, articles, conversations.
Almost as if it has a life of its own, the shift will continue building energy around it, reaching a threshold point that invites us to lean in, to jump, to turn. Which, let’s be real, is a scary process to engage in.
We are in part wired for predictability, so leaning into the unanticipated with trust, whew, that’s rough.
What I’ve come to believe and understand is that actually trusting the momentum of my life in that way is strong evidence of being “in the flow” of intention. When I’m clear on intentions, that doesn’t mean I can predict the best pathway to the fulfillment of the intention. That’s where the trust comes in, and honestly, if I’m not present in the moment, I really decrease my chances of even noticing building momentum in a particular direction.
Around 18 months ago I began to think about changing my business model to a more integrative structure to model our integrative approach, I hired Haley 9 months later (best decision ever), started the podcast (such a steep learning curve and valuable tool for people to support their health) and by the beginning of 2019 I was ready to hire another integrative therapist. Shortly into 2019, some shifts within my family revealed another important affirming process was unfolding, and at the time I remember thinking, “this is fantastic and with planning, I’ll be able to be present and show up as a support beam throughout this process, for my child, whom I love dearly”.
June came, and then, through an acquaintance of mine connected to advocacy work I’m involved in, in part because of the diversity within my family, I “accidentally” actually “serendipitously” saw a listing for our dream farmette. A place that was large enough to accommodate part of my business dream and small enough to create a family sanctuary.
My first thought, “No way, can’t even look, don’t have the bandwidth at all for this right now!”
I couldn’t shake it, and well after a seamless flow of doors opening in bizarrely unexpected ways, we now own the farmette (stay tuned for exciting workshops there in 2020) and we closed on it a week before the culmination of our family transition process and 10 days before our new therapist comes on board.
NOT THE WAY I WOULD’VE PLANNED, AT ALL.
Yet, I’ve been able to navigate the concurrent demands of these three big things happening at once and I’m strangely grounded about it all. That’s the flow at work, so I’m gonna keep trusting the momentum and invite you to do the same.
Ask us about our upcoming Meditation 201 Workshop and online Food & Mood Support group to help you with your momentum and journey!
The Golden Ticket
Sometimes life throws us something we aren’t expecting- a loss, an injury.
Sometimes we invite a change into our lives with a move, new relationship, new goal or dream.
When we find ourselves in this position, sometimes there’s a pull toward comparison with other people. A tendency to compare our inside feelings with an outside appearance, especially when we feel out of control, insecure and overwhelmed. We may then begin to think that “we are missing something that others have”, “that we aren’t enough”, that we need the ‘golden ticket ‘ in order to feel at peace or at least marginally comfortable again.
Actually we have the golden ticket inside us already.
It’s the golden ticket of meeting ourselves where we are with self acceptance
Ok so what does that mean? And how do we do that when we are feeling so out of control and overwhelmed?
It means that we allow ourselves to be exactly who we are in this situation, without judgement and without demanding perfection. It means that we open up to the notion that there isn’t one right way to live a life, that the challenge is to authentically and wholeheartedly live the life we are experiencing.
How do we do that?
If only there was a one size fits all blueprint that I could share.
There isn’t.
What I can share are tools to guide you toward more self-acceptance, toward meeting yourself where you are with kindness and compassion:
Take a pause and notice what’s going on in your thoughts, your emotions and in your body. Notice, don’t attach. Be curious, not judgmental.
Acknowledge your inherent worth, within the circumstance you are experiencing. You have worth because you are here and you are you.
Let go of comparison with others, even if you have to let go in tiny pieces. LET IT GO. It is toxic and invalid. It serves to undermine your worth, progress and unique experience of your life.
Affirm your efforts, however uncomfortable it may feel. Affirming our efforts increases motivation and fuels a growth mindset.
Embrace the awkward. Whenever we are learning there is going to be an awkward stage. Lean in.
Self-empathy. Integration Nation Episode 212: Empathy- The Magic Wand can help you with this.
Self-acceptance is essential for us to develop authentic intimacy with ourselves and with other people. It releases us from the tyranny of comparison and supports us in the direction of our heart. Anything that does that merits the distinction as a golden ticket.
Take hold of your golden ticket as you meet yourself where you are at, lean in and grow.
As always. please leave any comments or questions you may have on meeting yourself where you are at in the comments or shoot us an e-mail.
3 Meditation Myths & Common Mistakes
Meditation is a science backed activity that relieves stress and, unfortunately, has some misinformation surrounding it. Today we are going to look at and debunk a few of these myths and misconceptions that gives meditation and meditation classes a bad rep.
Myth #1:
Meditation benefits take years to notice.
NOPE, research suggests people can begin to benefit from meditation in as little as 10 minutes a day. Measurable brain changes occur after 8 weeks of daily 20 minute meditation practices.
Myth #2:
Your mind has to be empty for it to work.
Once again, nope.
Meditation practices and experiences are as varied as types of candy that I love, so in other words, a lot.
Myth #3:
Meditation is B.S.
This is also false because, meditation has a robust science backing and many proven benefits to improve your health and overall life.
Now that we have debunked a few myths, what are 3 of the most common mistakes made when attempting meditation?
3 Most Common Meditation Mistakes
Giving up.
Giving up.
Giving up.
That’s right, really the only mistake you can make is to give up.
Meditation is a relationship that is dynamic and with practice can become a primary tool in your wellness bag.
So, don’t give up! Keep learning in your pursuit of a better and healthier you!
If you want to learn more about Meditation and all of it’s benefits (reduce anxiety and depression, reduce stress, improve work efficiency just to name a few) check out our upcoming Meditation for Beginners class at our office located in downtown Fredericksburg by clicking here!
Psychotherapy Myth 1: Only "Crazy People" Go to Therapy
I absolutely cannot speak for other therapists or where they stand on these myths associated with psychotherapy.
This new blog series is about dispelling psychotherapy myths based on how I practice and based upon how I view psychotherapy as an integrative therapist.
Sooooooo….. here we go.
We’re diving deep right away, because there is no sense in wasting your time.
To be completely vulnerable with you, I got a little angry even typing out the phrase “crazy people”, it’s derogative and demeans the very legitimate struggles we ALL experience as human beings. Every person encounters a struggle or trial at some point in their lives, and it is okay, essential even, to seek out guidance from a counselor during the times we feel stuck.
In my downtown Fredericksburg practice, we come from the perspective that psychotherapy and counseling is a sacred space to find guidance and support in not only RESOLVING grief and trauma, but also INTEGRATING new aspects of self and gaining UNDERSTANDING and SELF AWARENESS about life transitions from a holistic lens.
As licensed clinicians and actual human beings, we deeply believe in the inherent worth and dignity of individuals. Stemming from that foundational belief, we also believe people are strong enough to acknowledge patterns of thinking and patterns of behavior that do not support who they are becoming and how they want to contribute in their unique lives.
AND we believe in empowering people.
Empowering people to learn how to support their health holistically is one of primary objectives as counselors. We see therapy as part of a good comprehensive health care, therefore we operate and advocate to break the stigma associated with mental health care.
I guess in short it boils down to, we love people.
We really love people, and we believe in the worth of people and and that all people can benefit from psychotherapy that respects the adaptive power which every single human being possesses.
Counseling works and you aren’t “crazy”.