Burnout, What Why and How
Does it ever feel like your to do list never ends?
Do you feel like you can’t do anything for yourself until you knock another chore off your list?
Girl, same. And we all feel this way sometimes. Do you ever wonder why we feel like we can’t do what we want to do until our list is done?
And who decides what we have to put on our list anyway?
Well, for those of us who identify as women (which is a social construct by the way), we have things that society decided we have to do. Society also decides how women should behave, what is normal for us, what roles we take on, and what we HAVE to do for everyone but ourselves.
Because of what society has decided that we must do, we can feel like our jobs are never ending. Whether it be working, going to school, taking care of our families, cooking dinner, or cleaning the house.
We have to realize that competing values are happening within everyone. And what you choose to spend your time on is ok, as long as you say it’s ok.
So what is burnout then?
If you ever find yourself just completely overwhelmed and exhausted then you might be in the neighborhood of burnout.
Because what it’s like to be a woman and what is expected of you can be two completely different things.
When we try to close the gap between society’s expectations and who we really are, we can become burned out.
When we neglect our personal wants and needs habitually it leads to burnout.
It’s hard being a woman in our society. But, there are some things that can help us to keep burn out at bay.
How to recognize that we are in fact, burned out?
Physical exhaustion- you may notice that your energy level is extremely low and you feel like your body can’t do even one more thing.
Mental exhaustion - you may feel like you’re lacking mental clarity, can’t think straight, and have trouble concentrating.
Fatigue- your body is done, just done. This can last for short or long periods of time.
Regular headaches- you may notice that you are experiencing more headaches than usual.
Isolation- you may feel like you want to self isolate, don’t want to leave the house, and find yourself not doing the things that you normally enjoy.
Irritability- you may notice that you are quicker to get angry, become frustrated, or more irritable in situations that normally would not bother you.
What can we do about it?
We have to figure out and embrace our own authentic sense of who we are and what’s important to us.
The more that we live authentically and listen to our values, the less we allow outside expectations to affect us, thus living the lives that we wish to live.
If we are living authentically, burnout is way less likely to happen to us, because we are listening to what we need within ourselves.
Our authentic selves are made, not found. We have to work to find what really matters to us, what we do for ourselves to stay happy and balanced in our hectic lives.
These are some things that help us to live authentically:
Pursuit and achievement of goals that matter to us.
Loving, emotionally connected relationships with others.
Serving our spiritual or religious beliefs.
Our meaning in our lives is the answer to “what am I doing when I feel most powerfully that I’m doing what I am supposed to be doing?”
The next way to combat our burnout is by completing the “stress cycle”. The stress cycle is when we encounter an obstacle, and our body goes into that fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response.
In the old days completing that cycle was easy, but in today’s society, we must figure out how to complete this cycle of stress that our body gets stuck in after something happens in our lives.
So, how do I complete this stress cycle? Well, you have to signal to your body that you are safe, or it will stay in this state of stress and burnout.
Here are a few simple ways that you can complete your stress cycle, to bring your body back to homeostasis.
Physical activity- go for a walk, a bike ride, dance in your living room, or anything that gets your body moving.
A 20-second hug with someone who feels safe to you.
Long deep breathing or meditation, while being mindful of your thoughts and feelings.
Real, genuine laughter, like the kind of laughter that takes over your whole body.
Finally, a big old cry. Letting yourself release all of these emotions will take you to the very end of your stress cycle.
If you’d like to know more about burnout and how to move away from a burnout cycle, I’ll be conducting a 4 week group in the near future.
Stay tuned for details.
