Everyone Is Creative: Reclaiming the Joy of Playful Expression
At some point, many of us begin to believe a quiet but persistent myth: I’m just not a creative person.
Maybe it came from a childhood comment, a comparison to someone else, or the belief that creativity must look a certain way—paintings in a gallery, a novel on a shelf, a flawless performance. But the truth is, creativity is not a talent reserved for the few. It’s a relationship we each hold—with curiosity, with play, with the deeper parts of ourselves.
Creativity Is Playful Connection
At its heart, creativity is a form of play. It asks us to wonder, to explore, to follow a thread without knowing where it leads. It’s not about being “good” at something. It’s about staying open.
Psychiatrist and author Dan Siegel speaks about the “plane of possibility”—a spacious state of mind where we can imagine, discover, and expand beyond our habitual patterns. Creativity is one of the most direct portals to this place. When we draw, write, move, or make music without judgment or agenda, we step into that plane of openness. And from there, healing becomes possible.
No Outcome Required
One of the most powerful shifts we can make is redefining success.
Creativity doesn’t need to produce a result to be worthwhile. The act of creating is the value. Whether it’s doodling in a journal, dancing in your living room, or writing a messy poem no one else will read, creativity reconnects us with the process of doing rather than proving.
This is where many women rediscover a part of themselves that’s been waiting quietly in the wings—permission to play, to feel, to express without needing it to “go somewhere.”
The Benefits of Cultivating Creativity
Rebuilding a relationship with your creative self can be transformative. It's not just about fun (though fun is wonderful!). It also offers:
Stress relief – creative activities soothe the nervous system and offer a sense of rhythm and presence.
Emotional processing – art and movement can express what words cannot, giving form to feelings that feel too big or too complex.
Energy and vitality – engaging with your imagination can re-energize your body and mind.
Integration of self – creativity helps bridge inner parts that may feel disconnected or unseen.
Exploration – it becomes a sacred practice of curiosity, inviting you to meet new aspects of yourself.
How to Begin Reconnecting with Your Creativity
There’s no one right way. Start where there’s a spark—or even a flicker. Some simple ways to begin:
Movement – gentle stretching, free dance, or walking while letting your thoughts wander
Writing – try stream-of-consciousness journaling, a short story, or even writing a letter to your younger self
Music or performance – hum, sing, act out a scene, or revisit an instrument you once loved
Visual art – doodle in your journal, paint on canvas, play with color and shape with no plan in mind
Give yourself permission to be imperfect. To begin. To play.
Creativity isn’t something you have to earn. It’s something you already hold within.
It’s your birthright. A gentle power that helps you feel, imagine, and come home to yourself.
And it’s never too late to begin again.
2023 In Review Using GLAD
Arriving at the end of another year invites us to focus on introspection and self reflection.
Rhythms and cycles are woven into every aspect of our lives, from the automatic rhythm of our breath as we inhale and exhale, to the continuous cycles of the sun, the moon and the seasons. We spend our lives entwined in these patterns, many times not exploring the power of consciously partnering with them. (And yes, this might be a teaser of a project I’m working on).
Using the end of a calendar year to reflect on your experiences of yourself and your life, the patterns, structure, choices and results, is a powerful tool for partnering with the ending and beginning of a new yearly cycle. It can also be an overwhelming exercise to consider, with thoughts similar to, “How do I review a whole year? I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast this morning.” Finding a manageable and meaningful way to begin a self reflection process can be challenging.
2023 was a transformational year for me, and even though I have developed introspective and self reflective practices for decades, I was finding that reflecting on my year in a meaningful way felt TOUGH. I kept listing events and experiences, which was helpful in acknowledging the content of the year but it wasn’t supporting my goal to find meaning.
So I pulled out an OLD mindfulness tool; one I included in the first workshop I created years ago, Mindfulness 101. The exercise is called GLAD and is significantly beneficial for general mood management and specifically depressive tendencies. The exercise as originally intended suggests that you acknowledge;
One small experience you are GRATEFUL for that day
One small thing that you LEARNED that day
One small ACCOMPLISHMENT for that day
And one small DELIGHT you experienced that day.
It’s effective when practiced consistently because it broadens your perception of your experience and opens you to notice daily experiences that bring meaning and purpose to your life. I decided to adapt it as a way to reflect on my year. I stayed with the basic approach and allowed myself to be flexible about how I described each category. If I wanted to add it more for each or wanted to summarize a category by describing a theme, then I did that. Here’s a bit of what I came up with.
This year, what I am grateful for is the grounded awareness that I can trust myself to live within my values, even when it is painful to do so. That doesn't mean I make “right” decisions, rather it means that I can trust myself to both be responsible for the decisions I make and change course when my values indicate that I need to. The grounded awareness of that trust has liberated me to take more risks and to be more vulnerable, trusting myself to care for myself no matter what the outcome.
This year, I learned that the love we offer ourselves and others as well as the love that is offered to us, is what can make the difference between surviving unexpected challenges and losses and learning, growing and thriving through those same difficulties. Love as a force, filled in the gaps when I reached my capacity, it lightened my load when I could hold no more, it witnessed with kind compassion, my grief and it preserved my connection to hope.
This year I accomplished a business restructuring to align with my current needs and I was able to make real progress on a decades long whisper in my heart, what I’ve come to refer to as a heart seed, this seed was planted during 2023 and is currently growing. It has stretched me and unsettled me and excited me. As all heart centered pursuits tend to do.
This year I delighted in gathering my first crop of dahlia seeds from my own harvest. I delighted in a few spontaneous and fun trips that made my belly ache from laughing and my feet hurt from dancing. And I delighted in a few new relationships I cultivated this year that reawakened some dormant, neglected aspects of myself that I deeply love.
If you are looking to start a relationship or perhaps deepen your relationship with New Year’s reflection, using GLAD can support you in both broadening your perspective on your year while also helping you to find meaning in your experiences this year.
Looking ahead to what is beginning; in 2024 I’m looking forward to offering a 4 part talk series aligned with each season, the first, Harnessing the Power of Winter Stillness will be offered sometime in late January. Details about the event and how to sign up are on the way!
I’m also looking forward to so many additional creative projects both within the practice and in my personal life, and as always, I’m looking forward to walking alongside many of you as you rediscover your voice and reclaim the power of using it in support of all your selves, past, present and future.
I wish each of you a new year filled with deep authentic connection to yourself and others and real moments of joy as you continue discovering and rediscovering how beautiful you are in mind body and spirit.
Emotional Intelligence, Change, & Staying The Same Walked Into A Bar...
What a difference a year (or TEN) makes…
AND, the more things change, the more they stay the same.
This month marks just over one year's time frame of the COVID global pandemic’s devastating impact on our country and local community. It also marks the 10 year anniversary of Alison Sullivan and Associates. This past year has been, by far the most challenging in our 10 year history, from EVERY perspective, as a small business owner, as a mental health clinician, and as a person. I’ve learned more about how to pivot, to innovate, to let go, to surrender, to grieve, to rest, to dig deep, to protect and to heal in this past year than probably the last 10 combined. As I’m sure many of you have.
So, yes indeed, what a difference a year makes.
I feel like, as a business, in relationship to COVID, we are restabilizing, restoring, recreating and expanding. I know that I am really aware of applying all that I’ve transformed in the past year to bring more knowledge, understanding, discernment and love to what I do moving forward in this new world we live in.
At the same time, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Specifically, what I mean, is that the more seemingly unique challenges I face, as a person or business owner, the more I understand that emotional intelligence is a HUGE factor in whether I develop more resiliency in the face of the challenges.
Research continues to show that Emotional intelligence (EQ) helps you to acknowledge and process emotions without allowing them to hijack your life and your other relationships. EQ helps you to navigate conflict in ways that actually improve relationships and enables you to understand others’ feelings while you set boundaries with empathy to create a space for healing safe connection. It releases you from the pain of trauma bonds, codependency and the drama cycle, all of which impair your ability to truly connect with yourself and others.
Sounds great right?
There are 5 primary domains of EQ; self awareness, self regulation, self motivation, empathy and managing conflict.
Self awareness comprises three aspects. Emotional awareness is knowing what you are feeling and being able to label it accurately. Self assessment is being able to understand your strengths, weaknesses and how you are showing up in interactions. Confidence is the attitude of believing in your ability to learn, grow, understand and master.
Self regulation, as its name implies is about the ability to notice what you are feeling AND managing the flow of that energy reducing the likelihood of impulsivity, blaming and deflecting. This skill is particularly powerful in helping us develop shame resilience.
Self motivation is harnessing the force that influences you to take action. For many people external factors such as approval from others, acceptance, acknowledgement, form the bulk of motivation. Self motivation includes intrinsic motivation, the ability to understand and know who you are so that your choices align with your beliefs, values and goals. Of course we need belonging with others, but often we sacrifice internal belonging for external acceptance and that pattern can cause a lot of difficulties.
Empathy, the fourth EQ domain, is an actual magic wand in life. When we view ourselves through a compassionate, non judgemental lens and offer that same lens to others it fosters a deep sense of being seen, heard and valued both within yourself and in your relationships with others.
Lastly, managing conflict, is about being able to navigate your interpersonal interactions with others in an attuned manner (based on the other 4 skills) to honor diversity, utilize flexibility and adaptability to evolve and solve the issues that arise when we try to live alongside other people.
All this month we are highlighting each of these domains throughout our social media and on our podcast. If EQ is something you are looking to develop in your life then we’ve got you. Give us a follow on our social media and we look forward to meeting you along the way of our shared journey to more connection and deeper belonging to ourselves and others.
Fireflies, Fear, & Freedom
Summer nights, when I was a kid, were filled with magic. Mainly so, because there wasn’t school, so that meant a later bedtime. It was light out waaaay after dinner, which meant a neighborhood kickball game until the street lights went on.
...And the grand finale of summer nights was the firefly show.
It always began the same way;
First a popsicle, then either a lawn chair or blanket, right in the center of our backyard, (because that was definitely the best seat in the house) and then watch and wait.
Before long the show would begin, it would build slowly, a little glow on the left, then another, then three or four in unison in front of me and before long it was a captivating light show that seemed to fill our entire backyard with magic and wonder. There was no predicting its start, the duration, amount, or the beautiful light patterns that were created night after night.
Anything seemed possible witnessing them, magic definitely seemed real.
Inevitably, I’d want to capture the magic for myself, which led to jars, strategies and hunting them. The more, the better. I generally caught some, and you know what. I almost immediately lost interest in them once they were trapped by me. They seemed listless, the glow was definitely dimmed, the magic all but gone.
Years later as an adult, I wondered about fear and freedom, where magic is and where magic goes to die, both in our individual lives and in our relationships. I thought about the fireflies again, realizing that for me, what motivated me to capture the fireflies was fear.
Fear of not having access to magic, fear of not understanding the beauty of freedom.
In acting from that fear, by trying to “capture the magic”, I actually robbed myself and them of the magic that is inherent in all of us when we are living in alignment with ourselves, our spirit, our purpose. What they offered in their authenticity and what died when I tried to contain and control it is the magic. Witnessing that magic in their freedom could model for me the power of witnessing my own authenticity, which actually is the way to move beyond fearful reactions.
It reminded me once again, of the wisdom in,
Let it come.
Let it be.
Let it go.
Within myself related to goals, interests, pursuits and in relationships with others. Staying grounded in the magic of flow, whether something is arriving or leaving, is always where the magic is at.
Meeting Yourself Where You Are: A Powerlifter's Story
Taking a deep breath, I was trying to prevent myself from crying. An immense pain was shooting through the inner part of my leg.
“I’m fine. You’re fine.” I kept repeating to myself in a futile attempt to calm myself down.
Something was wrong and I was not fine. I was in the middle of a training session for powerlifting and worked up to my top set. Once I attempted my top set- which should have moved fairly well- it didn’t even budge. Rather, a sharp pain began in my leg.
Little did I know this sharp pain was the beginning of a long journey.
Just a couple months out from my first powerlifting meet where I planned to qualify for nationals by receiving a specified total of weight lifted from squat, bench and deadlift, I was now considering dropping out. The pain in my leg turned out to be a significant strain of one of my adductors, causing it to be very difficult for me to squat and nearly impossible to deadlift. Now unable to do these two lifts that I was depending on to qualify for nationals, I was struggling to dial down my training and meet myself where I was.
I told myself that this pain was not really an injury and would go away in a few days after some extra foam rolling and hot yoga sessions.
Boy was I wrong.
Things only went downhill the more I denied things.
Finally, I decided to come to terms with the fact that I did, in fact, have an injury and I could not just make it go away by ignoring it.
I had to actually meet myself where I was at and take care of myself. That mindset ended up being a game changer.
Meeting myself where I was involved a carefully calculated integrative approach of mindfulness based self care, nutrition, aromatherapy and physical care.
I began with being mindful of my body and it’s needs. If I went to the gym to train one day and my leg was in pain, I would reduce how much I was doing for that workout. To the contrary, if I went to the gym and my leg felt a little better- a rare but phenomenal feeling- I took it and ran with it, figuratively speaking. On the good days I would push myself a little bit more, but not to the point where my leg would hurt. Simultaneously, I incorporated specific exercises into my training sessions to strengthen my adductors without further straining them.
Avoiding stretching, because it would worsen the strain, it became a consistent self discipline practice for me to foam roll every single day. Foam rolling helped to loosen my muscles and increase my range of motion. One day, I even got a deep tissue massage. Which, LET ME TELL YOU. That deep tissue massage worked wonders on not only my injured adductor, but my whole entire body.
Incorporated into my integrative care routine to heal my adductor was the utilization of essential oils. A few times a week I would take a hot bath with epsom salt, peppermint or deep blue, marjoram, rhoman chamomile and lavender oil. Lavender and marjoram oils would promote relaxation. Peppermint, deep blue and roman chamomile oils each have properties that aid in muscle recovery and the epsom salt aided my body in detoxification.
Yoga, also played a huge role in my journey of meeting myself where I was. Ironically, I had to stop practicing yoga, because of the strain it placed on my adductor, but the meditative, mindset and breathing aspects of yoga carried over for me. Being mindful of my body and listening to it, things I learned from yoga, intensely helped me with my lifting, and life in general, while being injured.
Being injured and also being cognizant of needing to take care of myself caused me to step up my nutrition. Already I ate very well- mostly whole foods that were unprocessed, but being injured I knew that I needed to fuel maximal recovery for optimal results. To be completely honest and transparent with you, I have quite the sweet tooth.
Especially when it comes to cookies.
During this time period I would allow myself to have a couple of gluten free cookies (I have a gluten sensitivity) every couple of weeks, but overall I steered clear of sugars. Primarily I ate veggies (LOTS of veggies), fruits, chicken, turkey burger and tuna. Maybe not the most appealing diet to some people, this micro and macro nutrient packed diet plan maximally fueled my training sessions while aiding recovery from workouts and my injury.
All in all, this was a situation that threatened my ability to even compete for a few months, but with a growth mindset and meeting myself where I was I ended up being able to compete and receive first place in both my weight class and age class for my powerlifting meet.
Taking the time to take care of yourself is always worth it. Even if you do not achieve certain ideals that you expected, you will learn so much more about yourself and develop a deeper connection with yourself and others.
Haley Mills
Instagram: @theliftingtater
Trusting the Momentum
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’re noticing energy building in a direction that you haven’t anticipated, haven’t planned for, or even in a way that may scare you?
If this sounds familiar, then you may also relate to the notion of just not being able to shake off the building of momentum; it’ll pop up in unexpected moments, maybe you’ll notice related topics and ideas in media, articles, conversations.
Almost as if it has a life of its own, the shift will continue building energy around it, reaching a threshold point that invites us to lean in, to jump, to turn. Which, let’s be real, is a scary process to engage in.
We are in part wired for predictability, so leaning into the unanticipated with trust, whew, that’s rough.
What I’ve come to believe and understand is that actually trusting the momentum of my life in that way is strong evidence of being “in the flow” of intention. When I’m clear on intentions, that doesn’t mean I can predict the best pathway to the fulfillment of the intention. That’s where the trust comes in, and honestly, if I’m not present in the moment, I really decrease my chances of even noticing building momentum in a particular direction.
Around 18 months ago I began to think about changing my business model to a more integrative structure to model our integrative approach, I hired Haley 9 months later (best decision ever), started the podcast (such a steep learning curve and valuable tool for people to support their health) and by the beginning of 2019 I was ready to hire another integrative therapist. Shortly into 2019, some shifts within my family revealed another important affirming process was unfolding, and at the time I remember thinking, “this is fantastic and with planning, I’ll be able to be present and show up as a support beam throughout this process, for my child, whom I love dearly”.
June came, and then, through an acquaintance of mine connected to advocacy work I’m involved in, in part because of the diversity within my family, I “accidentally” actually “serendipitously” saw a listing for our dream farmette. A place that was large enough to accommodate part of my business dream and small enough to create a family sanctuary.
My first thought, “No way, can’t even look, don’t have the bandwidth at all for this right now!”
I couldn’t shake it, and well after a seamless flow of doors opening in bizarrely unexpected ways, we now own the farmette (stay tuned for exciting workshops there in 2020) and we closed on it a week before the culmination of our family transition process and 10 days before our new therapist comes on board.
NOT THE WAY I WOULD’VE PLANNED, AT ALL.
Yet, I’ve been able to navigate the concurrent demands of these three big things happening at once and I’m strangely grounded about it all. That’s the flow at work, so I’m gonna keep trusting the momentum and invite you to do the same.
Ask us about our upcoming Meditation 201 Workshop and online Food & Mood Support group to help you with your momentum and journey!
The Golden Ticket
Sometimes life throws us something we aren’t expecting- a loss, an injury.
Sometimes we invite a change into our lives with a move, new relationship, new goal or dream.
When we find ourselves in this position, sometimes there’s a pull toward comparison with other people. A tendency to compare our inside feelings with an outside appearance, especially when we feel out of control, insecure and overwhelmed. We may then begin to think that “we are missing something that others have”, “that we aren’t enough”, that we need the ‘golden ticket ‘ in order to feel at peace or at least marginally comfortable again.
Actually we have the golden ticket inside us already.
It’s the golden ticket of meeting ourselves where we are with self acceptance
Ok so what does that mean? And how do we do that when we are feeling so out of control and overwhelmed?
It means that we allow ourselves to be exactly who we are in this situation, without judgement and without demanding perfection. It means that we open up to the notion that there isn’t one right way to live a life, that the challenge is to authentically and wholeheartedly live the life we are experiencing.
How do we do that?
If only there was a one size fits all blueprint that I could share.
There isn’t.
What I can share are tools to guide you toward more self-acceptance, toward meeting yourself where you are with kindness and compassion:
Take a pause and notice what’s going on in your thoughts, your emotions and in your body. Notice, don’t attach. Be curious, not judgmental.
Acknowledge your inherent worth, within the circumstance you are experiencing. You have worth because you are here and you are you.
Let go of comparison with others, even if you have to let go in tiny pieces. LET IT GO. It is toxic and invalid. It serves to undermine your worth, progress and unique experience of your life.
Affirm your efforts, however uncomfortable it may feel. Affirming our efforts increases motivation and fuels a growth mindset.
Embrace the awkward. Whenever we are learning there is going to be an awkward stage. Lean in.
Self-empathy. Integration Nation Episode 212: Empathy- The Magic Wand can help you with this.
Self-acceptance is essential for us to develop authentic intimacy with ourselves and with other people. It releases us from the tyranny of comparison and supports us in the direction of our heart. Anything that does that merits the distinction as a golden ticket.
Take hold of your golden ticket as you meet yourself where you are at, lean in and grow.
As always. please leave any comments or questions you may have on meeting yourself where you are at in the comments or shoot us an e-mail.